The Radical Empathy Audit: Are You Leading, or Just Managing?

Let's get uncomfortable for a second.

You've got the title. You've got the team. You've got the corner office (or at least, the fancy Zoom background). But here's the million-dollar question: Are you actually leading your people, or are you just... managing them?

There's a massive difference. And if you're being honest with yourself, like, brutally honest, you might not love the answer.

That's where the Radical Empathy Audit comes in. Consider this your mirror moment. A chance to take a hard look at how you show up for the humans who depend on you. No judgment here. Just clarity.

Ready? Let's dig in.

The Hard Truth: Managing Isn't Leading

Here's the thing most people get wrong: they think managing and leading are the same job. They're not. Not even close.

Managing is about tasks. Deadlines. Deliverables. Making sure the machine keeps running. It's necessary, sure. But it's also... transactional. You assign work. You check boxes. You audit performance from a safe distance. Rinse. Repeat.

Leading is about people. It's about building trust, creating psychological safety, and actually caring about the humans behind the job titles. It's messy. It's vulnerable. And it requires something most leadership books gloss over: radical empathy.

Radical empathy isn't just "being nice." It's the commitment to genuinely understand your team's experiences, pressures, and aspirations, and then acting on that understanding. It means caring personally while still challenging directly. It's honest and human.

5 Signs You Might Be Managing (Not Leading)

Before we get to the audit, let's do a quick gut check. Here are some red flags that suggest you might be stuck in "manager mode":

1. You Don't Know What Motivates Your People

Quick, name the top career aspiration of each person on your team. Can you do it? If you're drawing a blank, that's a sign you've been focused on outputs, not humans.

2. Feedback Only Flows One Way

You give feedback. But do you receive it? If your team never pushes back, never challenges your ideas, never tells you when you're wrong... that's not respect. That's fear. And fear isn't leadership.

3. You "Check In" Without Actually Connecting

There's a difference between asking "How's the project going?" and "How are you doing?" One monitors progress. The other builds trust. If your one-on-ones feel like status updates, you're managing.

4. Decisions Come From the Top (Always)

Do you pull people into conversations, or push decisions down? Leaders operate like orchestra conductors, staying connected, inviting collaboration. Managers delegate and disappear.

5. Your Team Doesn't Feel Safe Being Honest

Psychological safety is the foundation of high-performing teams. If people can't share struggles, admit mistakes, or voice concerns without fear of judgment, you've built a culture of compliance, not trust.

Sound familiar? Don't panic. Awareness is the first step. That's exactly what this audit is for.

The Radical Empathy Audit: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself

Grab a pen. Get honest. Rate yourself on each of these questions from 1 (not at all) to 5 (absolutely).

Section 1: Do You Actually Know Your People?

1. Can I name each team member's top career goal or personal aspiration?

Not what you think they want. What they've actually told you.

2. Do I understand the unique pressures and constraints each person is facing right now?

Work stress, personal challenges, capacity issues, are you tuned in?

3. When was the last time I had a conversation with someone on my team that wasn't about a task or project?

If you can't remember, that's your answer.

Section 2: Is Your Feedback a Two-Way Street?

4. Do I regularly invite (and genuinely accept) criticism from my team?

And not in a "my door is always open" performative way. Do you actively seek it out?

5. When I give feedback, is it rooted in care, or just correction?

Radical empathy means challenging directly because you care personally. Not one or the other. Both.

6. Does my team see me model vulnerability and openness?

Leaders set the tone. If you're not showing up as human, why would they?

Section 3: Are You Building a Culture of Trust?

7. Do quieter voices on my team feel heard, or do the loudest opinions always win?

Inclusive dialogue means actively creating space for everyone, not just waiting for them to speak up.

8. Would my team describe our environment as psychologically safe?

Not "comfortable." Safe. Where they can take risks, ask questions, and be honest without fear.

9. Are my processes and practices equitable?

Performance reviews, promotions, recognition, are they fair and inclusive, or do hidden biases creep in?

10. Am I modeling radical empathy visibly and consistently?

Your team is watching. Are you walking the walk?

Scoring Your Audit

Add up your scores. Here's a rough guide:

40-50: Empathy Champion You're doing the work. Your team likely trusts you, feels seen, and performs at a high level because of it. Keep going, and keep asking these questions regularly.

25-39: Room to Grow You've got good instincts, but there are gaps. Pick 2-3 areas from this audit and commit to improving them over the next 30 days.

Below 25: Time for a Reset No shame here, just honesty. You've been managing, not leading. The good news? Awareness is everything. Start small: one genuine conversation, one piece of feedback invited, one moment of vulnerability. Build from there.

What Radical Empathy Leadership Actually Looks Like

So what does it look like when you nail this? Here are a few real-world shifts:

This isn't soft leadership. It's strong leadership. The kind that builds teams who actually trust you: and perform because of it.

Your Next Move

Here's my challenge to you: Don't let this audit collect dust.

Pick one question where you scored lowest. Just one. And commit to doing something about it this week. Have that conversation. Ask for that feedback. Show up differently.

Radical empathy isn't a one-time thing. It's a practice. A muscle you build. And the more you flex it, the stronger your leadership becomes.

Now get out there and lead. For real this time.